Date Marriage Separate Divorce! Then Date...

I'm surrounded by marriages, separations and divorces. More separations than divorces and more divorces than marriages.

Who's at fault?  Is it both of them?  One cheats did the other cause it?  Or are we all so shellfish we're caught up in the "I'm not happy" game?  Was your helpmate honest in the beginning?  Or was it a representative?

What goes through our minds the day of your wedding? Do we really hear the vows presented or are they just words, and we really hear yada yada yada... do you take?

• I'll marry them today, but in 3 years I'm out. 
• I just want a baby! 
• He better have some money! 
• I know he hits me but it's about love.
• She better know how to treat a man! 
• I think they cheated, but I can't prove it so I'll still marry them.  
• I don't want to be alone anymore!  
• If you get big, I'm out!
• We get to put our finances together and that'll make things better!
• The sex was so good I gotta lock it down!
• Now, everyone is at MY wedding.
• What God puts together, let no one take asunder. 
• I'm going to be the best husband or wife I can be. 
• It's not about me, it's about us. 
• There is no "D" word. 
• All or nothing baby! 
• I love _______!
• I will alway respect my man!
• I will alway love my wife!

Which one or more are you?

What is the purpose of marriage?

Should you both walk into the marriage with something (e.i. property, degrees, jobs, money, equal accounts, car)?

Is it important to get along with the in-laws?

What happens when you do everything they ask to make them happy, and they're still not happy?

What is your desire and expectation of marriage and your wife?

What is your desire and expectation of marriage and your husband?

What is the definition of a helpmate?

Can a man stay at home and take care of the kids?

Are the kids more important that your spouse? Why or Why not?

What should you do when the trust is shattered?

Is God in our marriage?

You went to church before we got married, but now you don't go?

Should the mother-in-law live with us?

What do you do when they're a spender and you're a saver?

How do you deal with mental issues like depression and anger?

What will you do if someone loses their job?

What happens when they put on too much weight?

LET'S TALK!


I want to know, what you think.


I want to know what the married, separated, divorced and single people have to say about any of the above.  Let's build and learn. 


Michael

Who Lovers Harder?

A female friend of mine asked this question: 




Who Loves Harder Men or Women?

My response:




When a man truly loves, he is willing cross his boundaries, to open himself up to a woman completely. He not only has respect, but love for the woman. He is willing to sacrifice his life for her to show the true standard of unconditional love. He is ready to treat a woman the way Christ did the church in the true since. When we as men love we love hard!


Women are natural lovers, they are taught the idea of love at a young age, they desire to love and to be loved and to them that is normal. But for a man respect is the norm. Love is hard, because we base love on society, which isn't alway the Biblical standard of love. When a man really loves it's of God. Love is a choice, so when we as men decide to we emerge ourselves all the way in, it becomes unconditional. Women can love on conditions. It seems to me more women are in love with the idea of being in love. It's been given away.


Who respects more men or women? Why? 


Women fall in love faster. Love is a choice to me, the word says "Guard your heart," by giving it away every time doesn't constitute love. It's making bad choices, then being mad because you made a bad choice and now you want revenge.

When women are looking for men, it's out of order. It may work! But when a man is ready to settle down, then the woman must choose to love him back. He's ready to give her his love. Yes men will marry when they're ready, not forced due to the idea of love or some worldly clock is ticking.

If women really had a respect for roles of male and females, they wouldn't be complaining about why they keep finding bad men. The people we date and choose to love are but a reflection of ourselves. If, we guard our hearts and set certain standards, both men and women would love hard. But, we always compromise or ask others to compromise. 


What is the True definition of compromise; 


"To compromise is to make a deal where someone gives up part of, or all of its demand. In arguments, compromise is a concept of finding agreement through communication, through a mutual acceptance of terms—often involving variations from an original goal or desire. 

In human relationships "compromise" is frequently said to be an agreement that no party is happy with, this is because the parties involved often feel that they either gave away too much or that they received too little^[1].

Cultural background and influences, the meaning and perception of the word "compromise" may be different: In the UK, Ireland and Commonwealth countries the word "compromise" has a positive meaning (as a consent, an agreement where both parties win something); in the USA it may rather have negative connotations (as both parties lose something)."

Which party are you?


If we have time to measure ourselves in a relationship on who loves harder, then we may not be loving hard enough anyway... "If men love women as Christ loved the church" as we have been commissioned to in marriage then that's hard. Because God said to women "respect your husband." How many women actually do show respect for men?